How I Met You
by thepurplenight
Summary: Barney tells his kids how he met them. Summary sucks, sorry. Reviews would be nice. It's my first fic, so be gentle, please. Hope you guys enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

"Kids, did I ever told you about how I met you two?"

"No, and we seriously don't want to know" answered Mia

"The date was November fifteenth of 2012 and …"

"Oh! I'm so gonna tell mom about this…" said Josh starting to get up

"No, don't you even think about getting up, you two are gonna stay here on the couch while I tell you this legen - wait for it… dary story!"

"Yeah, whatever, I have plans for tonight anyway so I can't stay" said Mia

"So do I, oh well… Bye dad…"

"NO! WAIT! Umhn… YOU'RE GROUDED! There, now you can stay here listening to this awesome story, which is even better than Laser tag! True Story."

"WHAT? NO! You can't do this to us!"

"I just did" said Barney while he did one of his evil laughs "Now sit down and let me start and by the end of the story you will get important presents. Is that okay?"

"NO!" said both of them

"Good, now… The date was November fifteenth of 2012 and …"

"Wait! 2012? You and mom weren't even married yet! Is this going to take too long?" asked Josh

"Calm down! I am getting to that part." Answered Barney

"Is this gonna be like one of Uncle Ted's stories that Luke and Leia always complain about?"

"No, it isn't even half as long. Now can you let me continue it? Please?"

"Go ahead" said the two of them very annoyed.

"Now… The date was November fifteenth 2012 and it had been a while since I had broken up with this girlfriend of mine named Quinn, we were engaged but we didn't trust each other so we had to end it. And your mother had broken up with this not-as-awesome-as-me guy called Nick just a few days before. We were both single, your mother was her normal self and I was too, but the only difference is that I was hitting on other women to get laid, all of them hot dumb bimbos at the bar…"

"Wait, wait" interrupted Mia "You were doing all of this at the bar? Where you and the gang hanged out?"

"Yes… Why?"

"Where you and mom hanged out?"

"Yeah, but why are you…"

"Bastard! Back then Mom already liked you, didn't she?"

"I don't know "said Barney smiling "I guess you'll have to ask her that. "

"But, if you were both single, and if mom liked you and if you liked mom, why weren't you dating already?" asked Josh

"You idiot, mom had broken up with this other dude not-as-awesome-as-dad (according to dad anyway), just some days before! She needed a break! And I have to hand it to her; it mustn't be easy dating a guy like dad…"

"Oh, you're mom and I had already dated!"

"WHAT?" They both screamed.

"Yeah! But we weren't ready to date each other yet, I got fat, and your mom started to lose her hair and she couldn't stand me anymore so we broke up. This was back in 2009, I think. In 2011 your mother and I (both dating other people) took a cab ride together and, for some reason, we ended up in bed. After that, I realized I still had feelings for her and told her that for me, it had meant something, and if it had meant something for her too, she should meet me back at the bar at midnight alone and we there could talk about our relationship. So I broke up with my girlfriend and thought "The worst is done" and then I was so confident that I filled your mother's bed with rose petals and then I went to the bar. When she arrived (I always loved that green dress on her, even thought now it is kind of cursed) she brought her boyfriend along with her, meaning that she didn't broke up with him for me, meaning that she didn't love me enough to stay with me instead. When she shook her head "no" it devastated me. But I don't think she knows that, and I don't wanna worry her with that now, the past is past, water under the bridge…"

"Oh, daddy…!" Then Mia stood up and hugged her dad and started to cry.

"Oh don't cry sweetheart! Everything is fine now see, your mom and I are married and we have you two guys and we couldn't have been prouder of you. I mean look at you two! Mia, you are gorgeous, you took after your mother, and those blue eyes still haunt me. And you Josh, you are wearing a suit! It's the most defiant proof that I have thought you well! I love guys…"

"We love you too, dad" said Josh, getting Mia a box of tissues.

"Now, let me continue…so one day, I was at the bar hanging around with your mother…"

* * *

"Hey!" Robin said

"Hi, how are you? Everything okay? You look kind of bad…"

"It's fine, I just have been thinking a lot lately…"

"Thinking about what?"

"About… Oh I don't know… Everything! My life and how it sucks, and how I am always getting dumped…" And then she started crying.

* * *

"Kids to this day, I cannot stand watching your mother cry. I feel so useless and so powerless, and I am trying to make her feel better but I just can't. It hurts, it is like someone grabbed my heart and put it in the middle of a street and there are tons and tons of cars and people passing on top of it and it just gets crushed and bleeds a lot"

"Gosh, dad…" Mia said.

"What? It's true! Every bit of it! Kids, I have seen your mother have some emotional breakdowns during our time together, and she as seen me having some too, like for example when your Grandma died. I never need more support in my entire life, and there she was, your mother, always there to comfort me and make me feel better. I never met better and more awesome person than your mom, and I bet my suits, that I never will."

"WOW! Dad that is deep for you!" said Josh

"Oh, shut up! He is just being romantic!" added Mia

"Thank you, now where was I? Oh yes…"

* * *

"Hey! Hey! Don't cry! Your life doesn't suck, your life is great! You're a great, well known journalist, who has traveled the world. You have a wonderful life. You have such awesome friends like us!" and then I gave her a hug and tried to comfort her.

"Yeah but my love life sucks… and there is something I didn't tell you"

"What is it?"

"I've been visiting the box…"

* * *

"What box?" asked Josh

"Oh… The Box!" said Barney smiling "By the time, your mother and I were dating for the first time, I had a lot of memories with her, you know, before it all went south. And I kept them all in my house. But when I started dating other women, I didn't want them to think that I was still in love with your mom, but I wasn't brave enough to throw them away. So I rented a storage unit and kept them all there in a box, "The Box of Feels" that's what I used to call it. But one day, your mother asked me what had I done with all the memories, back then I was still dating Quinn, so the stuff was all in the box, but I was too embarrassed to tell your mom that I had kept them, so I told her that I got rid of it. To my surprise, she told me that she didn't like that I had gotten rid of all of our memories and that she could never do the same. An unconscious part of me was thrilled that she could never do that, so I gave her the key and the address, and she went there and appreciated all of our pictures, letters, pieces of a dish, tickets of trips, everything. She told me in later years that she was marveled."

"Does the box still exist? Asked Mia, curious.

"Oh yes, but is a lot emptier, because I have some of those pictures here at home… like this one." Barney held a frame with a picture of them both in eating spaghetti in a fancy restaurant.

"That's lovely! Dad, you and mom were adorable back then, very handsome people!

"Thanks, if you guys want I can take you there, to the box I mean, I am sure your mother will be thrilled. She still visits it, and, over the years, she has added things, and so have I"

"We would love to, dad!" said Mia excitedly

"But continue the story" added Josh

"Okay, well…"

* * *

"You have?" I asked

"Yes, I have"

* * *

"Kids, this time it was a conscious part of me that was thrilled. By this time I was in love with your mother, and I was sure of it, but I was too afraid to tell her, afraid that I would get a rejection again, afraid that over time we got fat and sick of each other again. I didn't want that to happen."

* * *

"Why?" I asked, I really wanted to know

"Because… because… I think… I think I'm in love with you again. This whole thing with the box, and our memories and how you kept them. And when you were with Quinn, I just felt that wanted to kill that bitch because she was lucky enough to have you. And it still hurts when I think about how much you tried to keep your relationship with them, and you just let ours fall… It's okay if you don't feel the same way… I completely understand…"

* * *

"Then, kids, I just cut her off with a kiss, like the ones which are in movies, because, as your wise( but not as awesome as me or your mom) uncle Ted says, she was "The One", the one person you wanna spend the rest of your life with, the one you want to do everything with, the only one who you think about doing such things as marriage or kids with. For me, kids, your mother was the reason why any of my other relationships ever worked, and in the end I just wanted to go back to her"

"Ohh… Dad, you're so sweet" Said Mia

"You're so lame…" said Josh

"Hey, when you reach my age you'll think like me about some other chick. True Story"

"What happened next? Asked Mia

"Well… Our kiss lasted like forever, and I couldn't have been happier, your mother was mine again, well at least I thought so, but your mother was terrified for something she had to do, and because she loved me for real, she made sure she told me as soon as possible"

"Well now I am curious…" said Josh

"Don't be, it is not very happy and it is something that worried us some years ahead" said Barney.

* * *

"Barney…?" asked Robin very determined.

"Yes? What's wrong?

"There is something I need to tell you, and it's not very good…"

"What is it, Scherbatsky?"

"I am telling you this because I think this will last, and this is why most of my relationships never worked. This is an important part of any relationship and if you can't live without it, you shouldn't be with me. I am telling you this in an early stage because it is much easier to leave you now, than when I will be more attached to you in the future." She took a deep breath

"What is it Robin? You're scaring me? Is it that you can't have sex?

* * *

"DAD! What the hell is wrong with you?" Screamed Mia

"Calm down! I was just kidding!"

"Well it wasn't funny; I can't even imagine mum's face…"

"You're mom laughed! With a bit of sarcasm of course, but she laughed!"

"Ahaha! Burn!" Said Josh

Mia was a little annoyed after that…

"But anyway…"

* * *

She laughed, but the matter was so serious that the joke lasted little.

"No… It's Umhn… I can't… I can't have kids." And then she started crying again.

* * *

"WHAT?" Mia and Josh both screamed

"But… But… How are we here if mom can't have kids!? Are we adopted or something!? Oh my God…!" Mia was panicking

And Josh was too.

"What!? I mean… How!? I don't even…!"

"Just both of you calm down. Please. You are indeed here and you were NOT adopted. You two were like our little miracles. When your mom first found out that she was pregnant with you, Josh, she was like hysterical, nobody, not even me, could calm her down. She was just too happy, and she wasn't even sure that she wanted to have kids! Many years ago, some doctor put the idea in her head that she could never have children, and kids, I didn't even know the news and I could see she devastated about something, and this was in 2011! I can honestly say that I never saw your mother happier, and we didn't even know that we could have kids of our own, we were just having sex. The condoms are only 98% safe, those two percent are always on the loose, remember that!

"Jeez… Thanks dad…" Josh said

"Oh God No!" said Josh

"Any way… back to the story…"

* * *

"Hey. Hey! Don't cry! I won't leave you… I don't even care if you can have kids or not! I just want you! As long as I have you I will be not happy, but the happiest man alive!"

"But… But… You want kids; I can't take that away from you…."

"I'll repeat: I want you, nothing else matters. I mean it."

"You do, don't you?" She asked, starting to feel better, but this conversation was no yet done, your mother would insist on this many more times, because she loved me and she didn't want to make my life miserable. And every time I would answer her, the same. That nothing else matters to me, besides her. But when you kids were born, the story changed.

"Truly" I answered.

And then we kissed again, longer this time, more passionately, because if I could spend all my life kissing your mother, I would. This if I wouldn't need to breath, of course.

But I didn't expect what happened next: The gang arrived, and I was still kissing your mother. But we didn't even notice! We were in a world of our own… but the next thing I heard was your aunt Lily scream of excitement.


	2. Chapter 2

But I didn't expect what happened next: The gang arrived, and I was still kissing your mother. But we didn't even notice! We were in a world of our own… but the next thing I heard was your aunt Lily scream of excitement.

* * *

We quickly split up, and turned to face them, and they all had smiles on their faces, except for your uncle Ted.

"Oh my God! I can't even believe this is finally happening! Oh my gosh I am so happy!" Screamed your aunt Lily, who came over and hugged us, and then she turned to Marshall with a very serious expression "Pay up."

* * *

"Pay up what?" asked Mia

"Oh, that's right, I didn't tell you… You see, for your uncle Marshall and aunt Lily, married life turned out to be a little boring (but not for your mother and me, we completely rocked marriage), so they, to keep entertained, started to make bets to play with the rest of the gang's life, that being: me, your mother and your uncle Ted. So eventually, with time, your uncle Marshal bet Lily for 20 bucks that your uncle Ted and your mother would end up together"

"Why would he bet that?" Asked Josh

"Oh, because your mother and your uncle Ted dated! For a year I think. But eventually they broke up because they wanted different things in life. And then your mom went to Brazil or something, and came with some Mexican crazy guy, who she broke up with after a very short time. A few years later, your uncle Ted fell in love with your mom again, but she didn't love him back. Ted was devastated but he eventually moved on."

* * *

There, for the first time, your uncle Marshal looked like he had looked into the future. He made a face so weird that I cannot even begin to describe it. This face lasted for 4 minutes, and Lily was so worried that we thought that we had to take him to the hospital.

Then your uncle Marshall looked to your mother and me and then he turned to Lily and he gave her 20 bucks.

Your mother was radiant, because she felt comforted knowing that our friend supported us and thought that our relationship would be for long term.

"You are really paying up?!" Screamed Ted

"Yes, I am. I can finally see that they are made for each other" Marshall said

"What?! You are losing 20 bucks!" Ted said even louder.

Kids, by this time, your mother was getting less and less confident, and started to feel sadder, she hated that your uncle didn't approve us. So I had to step in.

"What is your problem Ted?!"

"You're making a mistake! You too are never gonna last! I mean… two commitment-phobic people together?! What are you guys thinking?"

"Ted, I am sorry if we are bothering you. But the things that Robin and I do (mistakes or not) are none of your business, therefore it is not your job to control us. I love Robin, and thank God for some kind of miracle, she loves me too. So we're gonna be together as long as we want. For me, we can stay together for the rest of our lives. But you have no say in anything we do, get that?!" I was screaming by then…

Your uncle Ted seemed mortally embarrassed and he just left the bar.

"We better go get him…" said Lily grabbing Marshall's hand

And so they left.

"Did you mean that?" Asked Robin interrupting my thoughts

"What?"

"What you said to Ted, about us being together for the rest of our lives?" A little smile cracked her lips.

"No"

* * *

"DAD!? Again?!" Screamed Mia

"Wait for it! I was about to say something romantic! Jeez…"

"Oh! Sorry, carry on please…"

* * *

At that moment your mother looked terribly sad, so sad that I regretted saying it.

* * *

"Oh… I see, than why did we even considered started dati…?!" I saw tears in her eyes

"… Till the rest of our lives isn't enough…" I said interrupting her.

"What?" Her surprise was immense, but she was also smiling, what made my heart skip a beat.

"Maybe forever isn't enough either…! What is enough…? I asked her philosophically.

"Oh Barney!" Then she threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly "You scared me, you know?"

* * *

"Oh Dad! You're so cute when you want to!" said Mia excitedly

"Thanks, now there is no need to tell you what happened next so…"

"We wanna know what happened next! Every detail in this story is important, I have got to hand it to you, dad. You are a better story teller than Uncle Ted…" added Josh

"We had legendary sex in the bar's lady's bathroom and your mother…"

"BA! BA! We don't need to hear that! I was wrong, okay? Sorry! Sorry!"

"I told you so. Now, in the next few weeks following that day, your mother and I were in what we could call our "Honey moon stage". We had sex in everywhere that had a bed… or a sofa… or just floor… or…"

"Okay Dad! We get the picture!"

"Sorry, anyway, your mother and I were great, we eventually made peace with your uncle Ted, he told us how sorry he was he had just broken up with this chick Victoria and he was the only one in the gang no near to having what he most desired: The perfect girl and a family with her. But Ted was to "Picky", she had to be perfect and when he did get in a relationship he always chose the wrong girls because, like your mother, they never want kids or marriage, among other things.

By the time we reached December, you're mother and I had been dating for 2 months, and I was in serious trouble because I didn't know what to get her for Christmas, and your mother just made me even more nervous she said she had the perfect gift for me. What to get her? What to get her? I didn't know, but then I came up with a brilliant idea…"

"A brilliant idea that left me devastated… well at least at first…" said someone else.


	3. Chapter 3

"A brilliant idea that left me devastated… well at least at first…" said someone else.

* * *

"Hey Mom!" said Mia, getting up and hugging her

"Hi mom!" said Josh

"Hey Love! I thought you'd be late today." Said Barney, taking off her jacket and then kissing her.

"No, I managed to get out early… and what are you kids doing here at home?"

"Dad is keeping us prisoners" said Mia

"Yes, apparently we're grounded" added Josh

"Really?"

"Yeah! And we've been waiting for you, mom, to free us before we die of total boredom" answered Josh

"What has your father been doing to you guys?"

"He has been very entertained telling us the story of he met us" responded Mia

"And I am GREAT story teller, you two said it yourselves" said Barney

"Oh, that sounds fun, can I join in? And I have to agree with your father, he is, truly, an awesome story teller, way better than your uncle Ted, his story are so long that we have already died before they reached the end of his story!" said Robin and then she kissed him, shortly but sweetly.

"Of course you can, now where were we? Oh yes, the Christmas present…" Said Barney, inviting Robin to sit next to him.

"Uh, can I tell that one from my point of view?" Robin asked excitedly, after she sat down in the couch.

"Sure!"

* * *

"Now it was Christmas Eve and I had gotten out of work early to get to our home (yes, by this time we had already moved in together) to get worked on the Christmas stuff, it was our first Christmas together, just the two of us, and I was really, really excited. But then, to destroy all of my hope and make me miserable, your father called to tell me that things at work were bad, and that he had a meeting, just in a few hours, so we couldn't spend Christmas with me. He told me he was really sorry, and he truly sounded very convincing…"

* * *

"Wait! He wasn't telling the truth!?" asked Mia, panicking

"No, He wasn't"

"Bastard!" screamed Mia

"Mia! Don't call your father that!"Demanded Robin

"Sorry… Continue please"

* * *

"And your father also told me that I should go to your Uncle Ted's house, and so I did. By Ted's door I found a note and a box with a key put inside. The paper said that I should turn the key to my left side (I always loved his magic, so I played along). When I did, there was a small but weird and irritating noise that made me cover my ears and shut my eyes. When the noise stopped, I opened my eyes and saw another paper (this time in the shape of a puzzle piece) telling me to go to the Bar, and so I did. There, I asked Carl if Barney left something for me and he handed to me another box, a little different, and it also turned out to be a puzzle piece shaped paper telling me to go your Aunt Lily's house and there was another piece of the puzzle paper telling me to go someplace else. Kids, in total, I went to sixteen different places that night. Only to, when I arrived at the final place, tell me to make the puzzle and turned it around. When I did, it was a message telling me to go home, and I did. Kids, I was exhausted, but I was still ready to shoot your father after he had made travel that much of a distance. But when I got there, I saw our Christmas tree, our presents, all decorated, and finally… your father, waiting for me, next to the table with a Christmas dinner for us both. I tried to yell at him, but when I started, your father got down in one knee and said while presenting to me a puzzle piece shaped box:

"Robin, I know we are as complicated as 20 000 puzzle game but I love you more than the world put together. I love you more than anyone, I love more than suits, than laser tag, I love you like I never loved somebody. Will you… wait for it… revolutionize marriage with me?"

* * *

"And kids, what do you think my answer was?"

"YES! Yes Of course!" screamed Mia, while jumping on the couch

"Well, not quite…" said Barney "Your mother just started to cry unconditionally and then hugged me for a very long time and I was just like literally smiling while smelling her hair. And then I took the ring and put it in her finger, and she was crying looking at it. It was very emotional; I spend the rest of that week thinking of nothing else but her smile at that specific moment."

"Your father bought me a very expensive ring! Almost as expensive as a car! I didn't need it, he could have given me a piece of a plastic bag and I would have felt the exact same way. But the ring was gorgeous, I was stunned! It was very simple, very light with a big diamond that sparkled my whole hand. In conclusion, it was the perfect ring, it was every girl's dream of an engagement ring. I was a lucky person. I still am." said Robin while admiring her ring. Barney smiled at her.

"You deserve the best." concluded Barney. They shared a quick, loving kiss.

"So kids, we spent the next 6 months happily engaged… " said Robin

"Wait, Wait! Dad said that you came up with the perfect present for him. What was it?" Asked Josh

They both started to laugh.

"It was, truly one of the best Christmas presents I have ever gotten, but not the best!" said Barney. "Your mother gave me… Robin Sparkles 5."

"She gave you what? Asked Josh

"Who the hell is Robin Sparkles? Asked Mia

"Kids, get prepared. Robin Sparkles was your mother's teenage pop star alter-ego!"

"WHAT?" They both asked

"I can't believe your father kept this secret from you for so long! He usually tells everybody in the instant they met! He says "My Wife is a former Canadian teenage Pop Star!""

"Really?" Asked Mia

"Yeah! But anyway… After 6 months of engagement, the day and had finally arrived…" said Robin

"The day that went totally wrong, that day was a complete disgrace, well except for one thing…" Added Barney

"Which is…?" Asked Mia

"Wait. First we have to tell you that day from each other's point of you. You start, Robin" said Barney


	4. Chapter 4

"Wait. First we have to tell you that day from each other's point of you. You start, Robin" said Barney

* * *

"Well… First, I spent the night at your aunt Lily and uncle Marshall's house. Conclusion: Lily woke me up at 4:30 in the morning. She got the dresses (hers and mine) shoes and the tones of accessories she made me buy and tuxedos for the boys, and we got in the car, and tried not to wake little Marvin who came with us. When we got there, Lily started to scream at the hairdresser to do our hairs right, when both of them came out horrible. After the dress was on and I had already my makeup on too, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw what possibly might have been my worst nightmare at the time: Me, in a white gown. Oh, as predicted, I started to get cold feet and I called in your uncle Ted (my best man) and asked him about your father, was he getting cold feet? I didn't know. I hoped not. I was terrified that he had changed his mind about me because I couldn't have children. He answered that your father was fine, completely sure but… as a matter of fact, you're father was trying to jump out the window…"

"Oh my God! Really?" asked Mia

They all laughed.

"Yes, really" answered Barney "I called your uncle Ted (one of my best men too) and asked him if I was choosing the right tie (the tie being your mother) we calmed me down saying I was. But then, your aunt Lily ruined my piece when she asked me if I was really going to get married with that tie (what I didn't realize was that she was really talking about the tie, not the analogies that I used with your uncle Ted) and I panicked. I was afraid that the "Tie" would get fat or start bossing me around…"

"DAD! How could you think that of mom!?" yelled Mia.

"I had cold feet! And in fact your mother already forgave me for that. Anyway, so I tried to escape the church to go home. Then, your uncle Marshall gave me what I needed the most in that day. The Final Slap, which got me back to earth, and made me realize that I really loved your mom"

Robin held his hand and turned around to get a framed picture of their wedding where Robin's dress was ripped and Barney had Marshall's palm in his face. But they were both smiling while looking at each other. And she handed it to their children.

"Oh my God!" said Josh. And he started laughing.

"Mom! What happened to your dress!?" asked Mia while laughing too.

"Oh yes! The dress! Well, you see kids, I was in my dressing room talking (or panicking) in front of your uncle Ted, when he got a text that the cake arrived. He said that he'd be right back, and when he turned around he stumbled on my dress, fell and ripped a giant piece of it. "

* * *

"Oh God! Robin! I'm so sorry! Oh Jesus Christ! I didn't mean to! Oh God!" screamed Ted

* * *

"Kids, I didn't really care, I was a bit calmer knowing that your father wasn't having second thoughts (which was a lie that I didn't yet know). But what your uncle Ted didn't really expect was that your aunt Lily was standing behind him when that incident happened."

* * *

"Oh, shoot!" I said "Ted! Run!"

"YOU RUINED MY MASTER PIECE!? YOU RUINED THE DRESS!? YOU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" yelled Lily.

* * *

"Then Lily gave Ted one of her famous "You-are-dead-to-me" look. But Ted managed to escape. Then he went to see the cake…"

"Oh the cake…" said Barney "Well kids, when your uncle Ted and uncle Marshall went to see the cake the only thing they saw was a giant race car saying "Happy 7th Birthday Donny"."

* * *

"Oh God!" said Ted

"Shoot" replied Marshall

"What the hell are we gonna do man?" asked Ted

* * *

"They tried to chase the van that brought the cake, didn't work. They tried to call the company, didn't work either. Kids, we were stuck with Donny's Birthday cake. Today I still wonder if we got our wedding cake…" said Barney

"Dear god, I hope not! The kid would be traumatized for life! Kids, you know how your father always likes to make things big? Well in our wedding day, your father made sure that our wedding cake would be, well… extraordinary. I didn't oppose to that. It was his day too, so your father made our cake giant and with several reasons why we were together, some of them really sweet, some of them really dirty…"

"Oh god! We don't wanna know!" screamed Mia

"One of them was "Legendary sex", Ehehehehe" said Barney while laughing.

"Well, it certenatly wasn't a lie" said Robin, laughing at him too.

"Oh my God, GROSS! We did NOT needed to know that!" said Josh

"Sorry, well then, we'll carry on." Said Robin

"The time had finally arrived, your father was already at the altar, having every kind of second thoughts, sweating and shaking a lot. And of course I was nervous too! I just thought your father would be less nervous than I was, and he thought the same way about me. When my father was taking me to the altar (whispering me that I shouldn't get married, that I was always a big failure, and that wasn't the right guy for me) I pushed him aside and he fell. Then your father realized that I was already walking down the aisle, and he looked at me. He smiled one of the most radiant smiles I have ever seen on him, but not the most radiant. And I smiled at him too, and walked, alone, the rest of aisle to meet him. Everybody's eyes were on us, even my father was smiling. We got married, there was only us, everything that had happened in that morning meant nothing to us… until…."

"Until we noticed that we had no wedding rings!" said Barney. The kids looked at their parents' hands and didn't see a wedding ring on either one of them. "Marshal had lost them! And then, your aunt Lily just lost it, kids. She just started screaming words that I won't repeat to you guys, and left to drink 5 beers in the church porch."

"When we were starting the reception, your aunt Lily was already there, and apologized to us like a million times. We didn't care about what had happened, we were married, we were happy, even when we saw the cake we laughed!" said Barney.

"When the wedding was over, we went into a limo, drove by Ranjit, and went to the airport where there was a private plane waiting for us. The rest of the gang followed us close until we got on the plane. Lily made a hysterical goodbye. Marshall asked for gifts. And Ted was both happy for us and miserable for being the only one alone in gang. Little did he know that his life was going to change drastically in less than a few minutes. But he hugged us both and then we got on the plane."

"Kids, I had absolutely NO idea where your father was taking me, but I never had such an amazing trip. Your father rented a small unknown island somewhere in the Pacific, so we could stay there for two weeks. It was wonderful!"

"Wait, an island? That means there was little to see, that means you… Gross!" said Mia

"Well, we did that, quite a lot, not that that is a surprise. But we did some other stuff besides that! The island had a waterfall, with a lake, and then it had lots of small colorful fish! I loved it! Your father and I had so much fun!"

"After the two weeks had past, we came home to get surprised when we saw your uncle Ted with a girl which is now, your Aunt Melinda. They seemed so in love, that we all thought (and we did correctly) that it was gonna last. The gang, and Melinda, all came to pick us up from the airport. We brought gifts to all of them, nothing really special, mostly stuff decorated with seashells. Well for Marshall it was a Viking Lamp decorated with seashells."

* * *

"Aahahahahaha. Thank God you didn't bring a barrel!" said Josh

"So I see that your uncle Marshall has already told you the story of Mabel" said Robin

"Yeah! It was boring! I hate barrels!" answered Mia.

* * *

"Anyway, after we got home, we had to get used to be in married life. Your mother was always confused with her last name; she was now Robin Stinson, not Robin Scherbatsky. I had to get used to fill my house with her stuff, and the house no longer seemed like a single man's apartment. It looked like a married couple's house, and somehow I liked that. When the top neighbor moved out, we bought the house and made a duplex, as you see now, we had the stairs built."

"Two years passed, and we were completely rocking marriage, I had to travel a lot, I still do, but then it was more. And your father normally had meetings until late night, and sometimes he had to travel as well. I don't like it, when your father travels. It always worries me and then I feel lonely. And I know he feels the same way. In the beginning (well, this still lasts), none of us could sleep at night when the other was gone."

* * *

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" Mia said

"Laaaaame!" Josh interrupted

* * *

"And the biggest fight we ever had was in that year" said Robin.


	5. Chapter 5

"And the biggest fight we ever had was in that year" said Robin. "Your father had a lot of meetings, but back at that time he had more and he was always coming home at about midnight. And I started to suspect, your father wasn't the exact type of person who liked to commit to just a woman. I thought he got tired of me, because in fact I was just my old boring self. I was scared, I loved him and I didn't want him to leave me. I thought he was cheating on me. And so I confronted him."

"I told her she was crazy, that I would never do that, and I meant it, I was telling the truth! She still didn't believe me; I told her if she didn't trust me, maybe we shouldn't be together. Kids, I didn't mean that, and neither did she mean to agree. But we did say that, and we were both heartbroken. After that, she yelled at me to get out of the house, and so I did. I crashed over at my mother's house, I couldn't stay in Ted's house because Melinda was pregnant and due to a month. And I couldn't stay at Marshall and Lily's house because they just had a little girl named Lisa. We didn't speak to each other for eleven days! That means: that we didn't sleep for eleven days, that we were both miserable for eleven days, that we cried for eleven days and so much more. Until one day that we both went to the same supermarket, there was only one bottle of milk and we both tried to reach it! "You!" we both said at the same time, when we saw each other. "

"Then, I looked closer to him, he hadn't shaved for a while now, he wasn't wearing a suit. Just some jeans and a dirty T-shirt, that seemed to have been used dozens of times, without being washed. His eyes expressed sadness. He looked like he hadn't come out into the streets since we fought. I suddenly felt terribly guilty! How could I have done that to the person I love most!?"

"Your mother started crying, and I just can't handle it when she does that. It leaves me miserable! So I held her, I hugged her while she cried unconditionally. She whispered "I'm sorry" millions of times, and I just said "It's okay". Then I just took her home, the house was mess. When I left, she must have been angry and started smashing and breaking things, and she still hadn't cleaned them up. I sat her down in the sofa, and I sat beside her. She cried in my chest, until we were both just really tired and fell asleep there. It was the first time either of us slept decently after eleven days. We slept for seventeen hours, and when we woke up we just stared at each other for a very long time. We were fine again." Finished Barney.

"A month passed, and your aunt Melinda gave birth to your cousin Leia and we went there to visit them, of course. She was adorable, so pretty, and so small. She liked to hold your father's finger and I took a picture of that precious moment. Your uncle Ted was so mesmerized with his daughter that he got jealous when anybody besides him or his wife would hold her.

When we got home, I watched the picture I had taken, Leia holding your father's finger, and he was looking at her with such a loving and tender expression that almost made me cry. He wanted to have kids, and he would be such a great dad, and I was holding him back! It was all my fault; it was my fault that he would never be a father to wonderful children who looked like him! With his gorgeous blue eyes and charming smile, with his beautiful blond hair and his perfect nose. For the first time in my entire life I felt that I wanted to have kids, to have his kids, and I couldn't."

* * *

"You never told me that." Said Barney, rather surprised

"Well, now you know." Said Robin, while smiling at him. "So this led to one of our smaller fights"

* * *

"Your mom came over to me, while I was watching TV and just said "You can't be with me" This shocked me, I panicked. Why was she saying that? Did she stop loving me? What was I going to do with my life if I lost her? I was terrified. I tried to hide it.

"Why?"

"Because I am stopping you from living the life you want. I am ruining your whole life!"

"The life I want is with you! I love you! Please don't do that to me! Why are you telling me this?! What is this all about? You don't think I am cheating on you again, do you?"

"No… it's just…because you were so cute with Leia today! You're going to be a great father, you deserve better than a wife who can't give you kids! I love you too, that's why you shouldn't be with me!"

"Oh Robin! I want you, nothing else matters to me! Even if we wanted children we could always adopt! For now I just want you! We are already the coolest aunt and uncle of the entire world. These three kids are lucky to have us!"

"Yeah… But- But…" She was crying by now. "Adopting wouldn't be the same thing… I want kids that look like you!"

"Oh! Come here! Shhhh, don't cry… it's alright" I said and I hugged her tightly.

* * *

"And Kids, little did we know what would happen a year after, by Christmas time."

PS- I would like to thank everyone for the reviews, they were brilliant. I couldn't have asked for better, taking in count that this is my first fic. I would like to thank you for the support as well. I hope you guys like this chapter, even thought it's smaller. Love you all!


	6. Chapter 6

"And Kids, little did we know what would happen a year after, by Christmas time. Your father and I had taken some days off work because, well, it was Christmas Eve and I was sick, so your father took three or four days to take care of me. I had food poisoning, or so at least we thought. I had been feeling off for a week now. I was stupid, I didn't add the signs. It was when I was throwing up for the 10th time that day, that it came to me, but it couldn't be, I couldn't. I couldn't allow myself to have that kind of hope, but every time I would throw up it just grew bigger and bigger, and so, while your father was taking a shower, I ran to the pharmacy down stairs and I bought a pregnancy test. I took it, but it took me a while to have the guts to look at it. When I finally was about to look at it, your father knocked on the bathroom door.

"Robin, is everything okay?" Barney asked

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute, don't worry"

"Then, Kids, I looked at it and I just saw this pink plus sign! I screamed in happiness! I was literally dancing in the bathroom!" said Robin

"Well, I didn't know what was happening; I was just waiting for her to come out of the bathroom so we could have our Christmas dinner. When I heard her scream it was like an alert to just run upstairs! I completely broke the door and went inside. I just saw your mother dancing in the bathroom!

"Robin! What's wrong!? I heard you scream!"

"She literally ran to me and hugged me! She had the most stunning smile in her face, and I had absolutely NO idea what had happened!" Barney continued

"Oh My God, Barney… I'm pregnant."

"You what!?"

"Yes! I'm pregnant!" She smiled even bigger.

"I mean, are you sure? But how can…"

"Look!" She interrupted by handing me the little white stick.

"Oh My God!" I lifted her off her feet, and twirled her around with such amazement that can hardly be explained.

"That, Kids, was the best Christmas present I have ever gotten." Said Barney "For the rest of the night, I just held your mother and kissed her gently on everywhere I could reach"

"The day that followed was amazing as well; we were still kind of amazed by the idea of becoming parents. We were just thrilled, your dad spent that day rubbing my still flat belly, and I was smiling like an idiot while my morning sickness would last. But then it came to us."

"We have to go to a doctor; I mean this could be a false alarm! And they said to me that I couldn't have kids! What if it comes out with problems? What if… oh God!" said Robin

"Relax, it's going to be fine, but we do have to see a doctor. Get dressed, we'll take a cab" replied Barney.

"The doctor went well, I was indeed pregnant, but he told us that it was a risked pregnancy, because I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids. He recommended us to avoid stress. So we decided that I should take some time off work. He also told us we were very lucky, and I couldn't agree more" said Robin

"The next day, we decided that we should tell the rest of the gang, they deserved to know, so we met them at the bar" said Barney

"Guys, we have important news to tell you…, I'm pregnant."

Lily just started screaming full of joy, she was hysterical, and then she got a hiccups attack.

"Oh my God! I am so proud of you two! Oh! - Oh my God, what are gonna name him or her? How long have you know? And you didn't tell me before, why? You should buy a new house a bigger one! Oh God, I am so excited!" Lily kept screaming

"Congrats Bro" said Marshall while hugging Barney.

"Yeah, you guys deserve it" said Ted

"Lily, just calm down! I figured out that I was pregnant on Christmas Eve, and I went to the doctor yesterday to check it. He said that I am in a risked pregnancy, so I should avoid stress. So calm down!"

"Oh God! I am so sorry!" Lily whispered. "But have you already named it? What do you think it will be? Boy or girl?

"I have no idea, Lily, we just have been kind of amazed with the idea or becoming parents, we haven't got much time to think about that!

"We eventually had to tell our parents, my parents were excited! I'll never forget my dad's face at that moment. And to our surprise, your mother's parents were excited too! Your Grandfather cried! No one expected that!" exclaimed Barney

"So the days passed threw us, and by the third month her belly started to grow. Your mother became insecure about her looks since then, but it all passed. We had to go to the doctor every month to check on the baby and we soon learned that we're going to have a boy! I was thrilled; this was somebody to buy suits for! Your mom would laugh every time I said this. The months passed on, and we were getting more and more excited, but also more scared, because soon, we would have a whole new life that would depend on us! We were gonna be parents, and each day that passed our little miracle was getting more and more real and we just kept waiting and waiting. Until something happened, this, because your mother's pregnancy wasn't stable, at any moment it could happen something terrible! What we're about to tell you was nothing more than a scare, but it could have been something far more badly."


	7. Chapter 7

"So the days passed threw us, and by the third month her belly started to grow. Your mother became insecure about her looks since then, but it all passed. We had to go to the doctor every month to check on the baby and we soon learned that we're going to have a boy! I was thrilled; this was somebody to buy suits for! Your mom would laugh every time I said this. The months passed on, and we were getting more and more excited, but also more scared, because soon, we would have a whole new life that would depend on us! We were gonna be parents, and each day that passed our little miracle was getting more and more real and we just kept waiting and waiting. Until something happened, this, because your mother's pregnancy wasn't stable, at any moment it could happen something terrible! What we're about to tell you was nothing more than a scare, but it could have been something far more badly."

* * *

"I was seven and a half months pregnant, your father was at work, but he would come early. That day, I went upstairs and fell, and I was bleeding. I dragged myself to the phone and called your father, who was as terrified as me, and he called an ambulance. I fainted in the way there."

"When I got to the Hospital, I rushed to your mother's room, but they told me that the situation was serious, so I couldn't go there. This just made me panic even more. I called your aunt Lily. She came alone, because Ted and Marshal were taking care of their own kids, and she gave me moral support. It took twelve hours for me to know anything from your mother. They came over and told me that she was stable, and they congratulated me because I was a dad already. Kids, the only thing I remember is that I thanked your aunt Lily, told her that I would be right back with news and ran down the corridor and burst into your mother's hospital room. Then I saw one of the most beautiful visions I will ever have in my entire life: Your mother, beautiful and gorgeous as ever, holding our son, so small, but the source of my entire joy at that precise moment. She stared at me, and I stared into her deep blue eyes as she smiled beautifully at me. I came closer, slowly because my bundle of joy was sleeping. I sat down next to her, kissed her head, and looked at him. I couldn't see his eyes; they were closed because he was sleeping. He had her hair but he had my face. He was a part of me. A part of us. Your mother looked at me again, and I looked at her, and we just had a moment of peace. She looked really tired"

"Sleep for a little while. You need it" I said

She nodded "I love you. Thank you, for this."

"I am the one who has to thank you. I love you too, you know that don't you?

She nodded again "We have to name him…"

"Later, now you need to sleep."

"Don't leave, please" she whispered

"I won't, I'll sleep right here"

She smiled and handed me my son. She looked at us, smiled greatly, yawned and then she quickly fell asleep.

"I look at him again, so peaceful, sleeping like a little angel. I shook him slowly back and forth and then I laid him in his crib and ran down the hall to tell your aunt Lily that everything was fine.

She felt relifed and went into the room to see him. He was still sleeping. I told her that she should come back tomorrow and bring the others. She agreed and she left while I sat back on what would my bed for the next two nights and fell asleep."

"When I woke up the morning after, your mother was… well… impatient. Our son was taken by a nurse. He would only come back in a while."

"How are you?" I asked her

"Better, but more sour, I guess. We still have to name him…"

"Yeah, we do. Any thoughts?"

"Well, I thought of some while you were still sleeping… William, Peter, Josh, Edward, Mike… I don't know… There are so many options! Have you thought of some?"

"No, I was so worried about you and him that I couldn't think of anything… I like your suggestions, I particularly like…"

"Which one?" she asked

"Josh"

"Josh" she repeated. "Josh Stinson, I like it."

I smiled, we had just named our son, and it felt legendarily awesome.

"So after three days we went home, and I just felt great because I hated those hospital walls, they were horrible. Josh, you were danger! - He smiled - You tried to crawl up everything! Jesus Christ, we almost got heart attacks, both of us! And your father had these little suits made for you and they just looked great! One of them matched your blue eyes perfectly. You were so cute. We were, somehow, marveled by you!" said Robin.

"Yeah! Everything you did made us smile for the rest of the day! Like for example when you first spoke, your first word was "Dad". That put me up in the clouds for weeks! You have no idea how happy that made me! But, on the other hand, we had to watch you all the time! Unfortunately for us, you decided to take your first steps in the stairs!" agreed Barney.

* * *

"What can I say? I'm awesome!" replied Josh

"You are. Nobody can argue with that. You took after your legendary parents!" answered Robin

"True story." Said Barney

* * *

"But anyway, after you mesmerized everyone, because let's face it, you were way cutter that Marvin, Lisa or Leia. You were now getting big and we had to put you in daycare, you were fine there, the teacher always said that you were smart. She said we had nothing to worry. So when we got home, we had a lot of time on our hands… if you know what we mean…"concluded Robin

* * *

"Oh my God! GROSS, mom! We weren't supposed to know that!" screamed Mia

"Well, you should listen because what comes next is about you!" said Barney

"Oh, sorry… continue please…" said Mia

"Well, that little extra time, led to another famous day…" said Barney

Hey Guys! Sorry I'm really really late but I've been out of town and I haven't got much time. Hope you like this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

"Well, that little extra time, led to another famous day…" said Barney

* * *

"It was mid April, and we both had taken days of work because we wanted to take Josh on a holiday trip. He was now three and we felt that, since he was in daycare, we hadn't gotten enough time with him. So we decided to take him some place fun. So we took him to Disney World, in Florida. We were on the plane when I felt sick. I thought it was normal, but it wasn't, than I ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. This time, I was quicker and I added things up right way. So when we landed in Florida, I bought a pregnancy test in a nearby pharmacy and took it. When I saw the plus sign again, it was just a waterfall of emotions! And then I just realized that I was dancing in the bathroom, it was like that Christmas Eve four years ago all over again, well, except it was in a different bathroom, this time it was in an hotel room's bathroom. This time I didn't scream, so I didn't worry your father but…" said Robin

"But you did worry me; you were dancing in the bathroom for half an hour! I didn't know what happened to you! So kids, when your mother came out of the bathroom, she had this giant smile on her face and she just threw her arms around my neck while holding the little white stick (which I didn't notice at the time). I smiled at her too (her smile was contagious, it still is), while holding her tightly but I still had no idea what had occurred! She kissed me passionately, and I kissed her back.

"Robin, what is this all about?"

Then, she just got a little closer to me, and whispered into my ear:

"Congratulations, you're gonna be a daddy again."

"Kids, I cannot even explain to you how thrilled I was after hearing the big news! It was just like, there nothing in the world besides our family: Your mother, Josh, the new baby and me. I was just radiant! So I just kissed your mother passionately again and held her in my arms for the rest of that day! Well her and Josh, who had been complaining about being alone for too much time."

"So kids, when we got back from our amazing trip, we told the gang and our family and they were all excited and supportive. So time flew by, we already knew the pregnancy drill, it was no surprise to us, so we just went with it. Eventually we had to tell Josh that he was gonna get a little brother or sister, and he was just cool with it, he was very excited, I can still remember that day. Again we had to go to the doctor every month because, again, the pregnancy wasn't stable, but we were already accustomed to that. We were enormously surprised when we found out that we were having a little girl! And I have to admit it, your father was very nervous when he found out that it was gonna be a girl. And then the day arrived and this time we didn't have any scares, Thank God, We were just praying that everything went alright." Said Robin

"So when her water broke they just rushed her into the delivery room, and I stayed, impatient, in the hospital's waiting room along with Josh, and tried to explain him that his little sister would arrive today. I only got news from down the hall, after 10 hours! Then, a doctor came to me and told me, for the second time "Mr. Stinson, you're wife is in room 406. Congratulations sir, you're a dad". I just grabbed Josh and put him on my back, I literally ran (like four years ago) to your mother's room. Before we entered, I put Josh on the floor, and just told him:

"Josh, your mommy is behind this door, and your new little sister is there too, she's probably asleep so we have to be very quiet, because if we don't, she'll wake up and start to cry. Also, your mom must be very tired, so you can't annoy her. Please, I beg you."

* * *

"I remember that moment, I never saw you so serious, dad. When I got there I was afraid to even breathe, you were really worried." Said Josh

"Yes I was, and I was pretty excited to see my daughter as well" Said Barney, while he smiled at Mia. She smiled back, a radiant smile.

* * *

"So I took Josh's hand and opened the door...

* * *

_**Hey. I'm sorry this one is smaller. But I hope you like it! I'm gonna be out for a little while so next chapter may only come next week. Sorry.**_


	9. Chapter 9

"Josh, your mommy is behind this door, and your new little sister is there too, she's probably asleep so we have to be very quiet, because if we don't, she'll wake up and start to cry. Also, your mom must be very tired, so you can't annoy her. Please, I beg you."

* * *

"I remember that moment, I never saw you so serious, dad. When I got there I was afraid to even breathe, you were really worried." Said Josh

"Yes I was, and I was pretty excited to see my daughter as well" Said Barney, while he smiled at Mia. She smiled back, a radiant smile.

* * *

"So I took Josh's hand and opened the door. And behind that door, I found myself amazed once more, when I saw your mother with our daughter in her arms. She looked at me, and then she looked at Josh, who was kind of terrified, - Sorry if I scared you, kiddo… - smiled and gestured him to come closer. I took him right next to the bed, and I picked him up, so we both could see the little girl. She was gorgeous; she had Robin's face but my hair. She was a beauty and I could stare at her all day long. For the first time after a very, very, very long time, I felt my life was complete. And kids, that felling has been haunting me ever since."

"I remember that, dad put me down and then he sat me on his lap at the side of the bed. He looked at mom, deeply and he said that he loved her; she smiled and said she loved him too. I think dad kissed mom's head" Robin nodded to confirm. "Then, they both looked at me and said:

"Josh, this is your baby sister, you have every right to name her" said mom

"Yeah, buddy. Choose her a good name. The power is all in your hands." Said dad while he held my hand.

* * *

"HE NAMED ME? OH MY GOD HOW COULD YOU GUYS DO THIS TO ME?" screamed Mia

* * *

So I thought very seriously about it, because I knew that once I picked her a name, that name would stick forever. I wanted to pick her a cool name, a unique name, not one like Mary or Anne that are too common. I remembered that I saw a weird little cat on the way to the hospital; it was black and looked like someone had thrown him some weird violet paint with a brush. It was pretty and also very rare, so I thought: "Miau? No, that's not a name, but Mia." Mia was good, was perfect. So I told mom and dad.

"Mia?" dad asked. He smiled at me, and then he looked at mom, looking for approval. When they both smiled at me, I knew that I had just named my sister.

* * *

"Wait a second! Even, as if it isn't bad enough that you named me, but YOU NAMED ME AFTER A WEIRD CAT? You bastard!" Mia yelled at her brother.

"I was 4, okay? The cat was cute! And in fact I would do it all over again! I like the name Mia! And mom and dad seemed to like it too!"

"Mia, you have nothing to complain! You told us several times that you love your name! We all love your name! It's so rare and beautiful! And just think it like this: if the situation was in reverse, how would have you named your brother?" said Robin

"I…I…I don't know…" answered Mia very annoyed.

"Of Course you don't know! Aahahahahaha! BURN!" said Josh while making fun of his sister.

"But anyway, Josh, tell us the rest of what you remember." Said Barney trying to interrupt his children's fight

* * *

"We just sat there, looking at her: very little, the smallest thing I had ever seen till that day, with a small tuff of blond hair, like dads. When people came over to see her, they all said that she looked like mom; I couldn't see a damn thing they had in common. They were just too different! Of course now, I can see the obvious similarities.

It took me a while to take in that she was my sister, that there was gonna be a new person in the house, someone that I had to socialize every single day, someone I had to share my toys with! I didn't want to have to share my toys! They were mine! Obviously this brought in a lot of arguments in the house over the years."

* * *

"And that's it kids! That's the story of how I, or in this case, both your mom and I, met you two! You're free to go, you're not grounded anymore!"said Barney

"Wait! Wait! You said you had gifts for us! And you're going to take us to the box of feels!" demanded Mia

"We're gonna take them to the box?!" asked Robin excitedly.

"Yeah! I mean, if you let them, and, of course, if they want to…" answered Barney.

"We want to!" said Josh and Mia at the same time

"I would love to show them our memories!" agreed Robin

"Well, it's settle then!" said Barney while dressing his suit jacket and handing Robin her rain coat. Mia put on her boots and Josh dressed his grey suit jacket, and then they all went downstairs to the winter weather that awaited them.


End file.
